I had in mind to write an original thoughtful poem about being single at Christmas. Or stealing a poem to re-word it to be a parody of being single at Christmas.
“Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, especially Katrina who was single.”
But that’s a freaking long poem to rework and I have a regular job to go and other priorities besides ruining a perfectly nice poem about Christmas.
Which leaves me with making my own poem. But again, between family obligations, friend gatherings, regular Christmas shenanigans, and shopping in a haphazard manner for presents, not to MENTION my Christmas movie watching which includes but is not limited to Die Hard, and When Harry Met Sally, I’m a bit busy.
So, instead of a full poem which I’m not very good at anyway, I mean even limericks take work, I have a haiku for you.
The poem is based on the below photo which was taken several Christmases ago and was thought, by some, to be a hilarious present. My brother-in-law who took the picture has enjoyed this photo for years and regularly shows it to friends, strangers, people he meets on the train.
This truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
Tumescent Christmas Present
A boyfriend she has
not. But water she can get.
This was a good gift?
Anyway, my Christmas experience is yours to enjoy.
And my hope is that all of you enjoy your Christmas, even if you’re the butt of the joke.
In fact, while the laughing is going on, I encourage you to come up with your own haiku. Definitely let me know the results 🙂
Happy holidays, friends!