Moss Guy

I usually don’t get hit on. Or actually, it’s more like I don’t know if/when I’m being hit on. Biting humor is my flirt language, which works on like 5% of all people. It’s also my standard speech pattern, so it’s really a puzzle trying to figure out if I’m interested too. Point is: life’s hard.

I was in a wedding a while ago (as happens often these days), and by the end of the night I was helping clean up the reception area when the moss showed up on a table.

Guys, real life is weird.

I don’t know why there was moss on the table. But it was an impressive, very lively pile of moss and so I shouted “whose moss is this?” because, I don’t know, maybe it was a table decoration I didn’t know about (wedding tip for those brides-to-be: moss is big on Pinterest and in “Good Housekeeping” for use as a table decoration. Not. making. this. up).

Suddenly there’s a guy in a brown shirt standing next to me. And he says, “it’s pretty cool.”

He was right. And yet, it did not answer my question. So I tried again. “Yeah, but seriously, why is it here?”

And he says (I’m paraphrasing because I had been drinking a little and can’t EXACTLY remember), “well, you know, it’s pretty, like you.”


Now, I’m a bit witty, most of the time, and I’m always mentally preparing for the next round of conversation, but I was not prepared for this. I don’t know anyone that COULD be prepared for this.

But it was awesome.

I’m sure that makes some of you wince, some of you feel sad for me, some of you laugh at me, but the truth is he sounded sweet, eager, creative, and just a little goofy. It’s a winning combination of not-expected in a compliment.

Any time someone can surprise me with something (and it’s not horror-movie-worthy) it’s good.

Unfortunately, while I was busy trying to process what had just happened, he left. You could chalk it up to the bridesmaids whispering and pointing, his own mortified shock at what he’d said, or assume he just wandered off, but it’s a compliment that will stick with me for a while.

So thanks brown shirt guy. Thanks a moss.