Online Dating: The Adventure Begins and Ends

I didn’t meet Jr. Eastwood online. Shockingly.

But I did meet Andrew from Oregon. I’m not sure how other dating websites work, but eharmony has a ropes course toward romantic fulfillment.You go through challenges of “intimacy” and as you get to know someone you go to the “next level” (squee). “Next level” means essentially more “in-depth” questions.

I do think this works for the large number of people who use it, I mean, obviously, people get married after meeting on eharmony. But for me it was simply a quick and not complete vetting process to determine if Andrew was a serial killer. There were a couple suspicious indicators that he was out to murder me.

He was REALLY excited to meet me. Even when I put him off he would not be deterred. Each conversation ended with “coming to Portland soon?” Come on, right? That’s super weird! People wanting to meet people? More like people wanting to MEAT people.

We also had way too many common interests. I’m always suspicious of people who like the same things as me. I assume it’s a sneaky way of trying to relate to me. You can’t force the “we were meant for each other” thing on me. I’m way to smart for that.

Plus, it leaves no room for me making fun of him for his interests. Which is also my chief way of flirting. And also just my chief form of speech.

It was all too suspiciously easy. A couple of clicks, a few short sentences and suddenly the door is wide open for a relationship? No, I don’t think so.

That’s usually how you know someone’s out to get you, they make it easy for you…too easy.

Plus, I didn’t really do the eharmony thing on my own. I had a gaggle of over-excitable friends coaching me on my responses. Hi, Andrew. I’d like you to meet the me you’ve been talking to. It’s actually four of us. Two of whom are already married. That’s not going to be weird, right? Of course, four people might have put him off from murdering me.

But in all seriousness, I’m sure Andrew from Oregon was actually a really lovely guy. I’m also sure that online dating isn’t for me because my end goal isn’t marriage. It’s just to get people to stop asking me to try online dating. Because the site is geared toward marriage, that’s the assumption about your interest in joining. “Research” wasn’t an option.

If my life were a dramatic movie with a voiceover, I’d be telling you how there is no “research” option in life, it’s all do or do not. But to be honest, my life isn’t a drama. It’s a poorly planned comedy. I had to try online dating, just for the laughs.

4 thoughts on “Online Dating: The Adventure Begins and Ends

  1. Can you really call it dating if you never set a date, or show up for a date, or go on a date which has a date? I’d say you were more “r”ating than “d”ating!! But then I was just watching the movie…. not living it.


  2. Hi doll,

    I tried online dating on with the goal being, ‘I wonder what’s out there’, and to find out if meeting someone online really had any validity.

    To be honest, I was a total sketic and didn’t respond to anyone except for one person after he continually reached out to me (not in a stalking kind of way but in a, ‘hey give me a chance kind of way’). To be fair, he also lived very close to me so it was convenient for me to just meet up for a quick drink and head out if it was a no go .

    Seven years later I’m married to that man and I certainly wasn’t looking to get married either.

    Stranger things have happened… 🙂

    Miss you. ❤️


    1. I’m so glad online dating worked out for you and that you pushed through your concerns! I’ve heard a lot of positive stories about online dating and I’m so glad that we have a tool in this day and age to connect the right people together. Many blessings on your marriage!


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